Broken Hearts

I got some very sad news today; a friend’s 23 year old son died in a hiking accident. He was in Africa working for The Peace Corp. Those are the only details I know (not that any other details matter - a beautiful boy is gone). A dear sweet friend of mine is dealing with a very difficult diagnosis. Life is so fragile and at times, so painful. I try to remind myself why we're here. I read a book once called Who Dies by Stephen Levine. The essential message of the book is this: This life is one incarnation. It is most likely not the first and most definitely not the last. Life, as we experience it, is the soul’s journey. The journey is about learning and healing and it doesn't always feel good. The greatest lessons and the most healing come from the experiences that cause the most pain. I really believe that.
I think about when my parents divorced; absolute agony. Or when my mom died; the profound sense of loss, the sadness, the endless tears and the inability to find my smile. And oh, those broken hearts; the feeling my heart was drowning and simply taking a breath hurt. I would feel the world spinning and it was hard to balance. I thought I would never see the other side. But I did, with all of it. It took time, sometimes many years but eventually I recovered. I would emerge a little wiser, always a little more understanding. The book explains that we probably make these arrangements long before we get here. Between incarnations, knowing there is so much to learn about love, compassion, acceptance, gratitude and forgiveness, we 'negotiate' our lessons. We come into the world forgetting all the plans we, ourselves have made. Awareness of this doesn't make the losses or the heartbreaks any less painful. Our bodies still shake and our eyes still fill with tears. But it does allow us to step back, take a breath and ask, "What is this pain suppose to be teaching me?" "How can I be more loving, compassionate, accepting, forgiving or more grateful?" Maybe, just maybe, we can bring a little light to the darkness. There is no loss in this Universe, only learning and ultimately, only healing.
I really love it here..

Note to self: About these 'lessons': The Universe is very generous. Try to be a fast learner.

After experiencing many losses and many heartbreaks in my life, I've come to believe that it takes many many years to truly morn a loss. This is not a bad thing. Quick recoveries from serious losses are more likely denial or repression. Don't get me wrong, I don't think the morning processes means we have to walk around sad, depressed or crying (although we may experience all of that for a while). More often then not, it is a sensation of a heavy heart or the wind passing through us. It comes and it goes as a reminder of what we no longer think we have but is ever present. It's a good thing.